Things For Flutists To Do When They're Bored:

1. Pull out or push in so much that you're either a half step sharp or flat. Then tell everyone you invented a new key of the flute.

2. If you have an open hole flute, play only covering the holes half way.

3. Finger really low C and try to get the altissimo (the really high) C out.

4. Try to figure out a trill fingering for the really high C to the really high D, on a piccolo.

5. Blow through your flute with all the holes closed and pretend you're Darth Vadar.

6. If you're 1st Chair, start talking in German or Russian and kick everyone out of the section.

7. If you're not 1st Chair, make a list of atrocities and a declaration of independance, rally support from other flutists, and attempt a hostile takeover of your section.

8. Listen to a recording of a professional flutist and search for a small mistake. Then make a 90 min. tape of just that mistake, over and over again.

9. Also if you're 1st Chair, come into a song 3 measures early and laugh at the people who follow you. (That would be pretty funny!!)

10. Count your rests out loud while performing a solo.

11. When someone calls you a flutist, correct them and say you are a "flautist". Then when they call you a flautist, say the correct term is "flutist". Keep this up with the same person for a year.

12. Finger low D on a piccolo, cover the hole with your pinkie, then suck all the air out. Take all your fingers off except your pinkie....the keys stay down! (Well, now you're stuck with a piccolo attached to your tongue--press the Ab key to open the vacuum)

13. Play your flute into a box fan.

14. Find the most beautiful song you can, and add three flats (or remove 3 sharps).

15. My personal favorite: Blow into the tonehole like you would a brass instrument, fingering any of the low octave notes. In order for the sound to begin to come out, play something like "D, E, F, G, A". Once you get it, it has a really weird sound-almost like a bad, extremely flat clarinet! It should sound like THIS.